You just might be a homesteader/hobby farmer if:

*Strangers are constantly pointing out that you have either feathers, hay or straw in your hair (sometimes all three.) 

*You’ve had several cell phone cases partially consumed by goats (‘defender series,’ my ass!) 
*Your favorite apparel ensemble contains two or more items purchased at a ‘farm store’ (I.e. Tractor Supply Co., Big R, ect) or an Army-Navy Surplus website or store 
*People notice your forearms and ask if you play tennis; actually, those guns are from hand-milking and digging rocks out of your tomato patch. 
*You chuckle and feel superior when walking past the fridge full of eggs at the grocery store
*You wear muck boots more than you wear actual shoes
*Your poultry’s pecking order is of genuine concern to you
*Your mood for the day has a direct correlation to whether the pump in the barn is frozen or not
*New visitors to your property during the spring and fall receive a ‘you will probably  see and/or hear animal sex while here’ disclaimer upon arriving
*You have to remind yourself to stop asking ‘could I can that?’ and start asking ‘SHOULD I can that…’
* You choose winter coats based on how difficult it would be to remove placenta from the sleeves
*Your mail carrier knows to honk and wait for you when he/she delivers a package, because exiting their vehicle comes with the high probability of being mobbed by turkeys
*Friends no longer ask if you’ve ‘seen that movie yet.’ Because you haven’t. 
*There are at least two scars on your body that were inflicted by fencing, and you can name the date, time, location and dosage of your last tetanus booster
*The perfect winter afternoon involves a hot beverage and knitting or crocheting lamb/kid sweaters or poring over the seed catalogs
*Your neighbors have a nickname for you (I.e the heirloom tomato people, the escaping sheep people, the loud cow people) and you take it as a compliment
*There’s pretty much always some sort of poop on your shoes
*70% of the inventory at the local big-box 
grocery store is made up of things you have either made yourself, currently make or plan to make in the near future, or can’t imagine actually paying money for
*The people in your life are sorted into two categories: those you would protect & feed in a post-apocalyptic wasteland scenario and those who would be eaten (or tripped in the path of the oncoming undead horde) first
*You can never have too many bungee cords and good scissors are worth their weight in gold
*Being almost out of bread and milk during a blizzard is not a big deal; being almost out of hay is a catastrophe

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